2024 Mercedes-Benz E-Class First Drive Review: Driven to distraction

AGOURA HILLS, Calif – The list of advanced driver assist systems available in the all-new 2024 Mercedes-Benz E-Class is roughly longer than the entire list of every feature in a 190E from 1990. Don’t worry, I’m not going to list them (snooze), but it’s definitely a good thing they’re present to prevent you from drifting into the path of 18-wheelers because the rest of this state-of-the-art Benz seems intent on distracting the hell out of you.

There’s the new “Superscreen,” the slightly less screeny sibling of the EQS “Hyperscreen.” In its Superest form, it boasts multiple layouts for Mercedes’ new 3D instrument panel, a well-sorted landscape-oriented main touchscreen and a passenger-side screen that doubles as dash art when no passenger is present to futz about with it (and possibly barf upon it should they pay too much attention on a winding road, just a warning). There’s 64-color “active” ambient lighting arcing around the dash with multi-color presets that subtly change as you drive along, or a new innovation, pulse with the beat of the music playing. This «Sound Visualization» function also responds to people talking on apodcast, which is amusing. That music can be played through a magnificent Burmester 4D surround sound system, complete with Dolby Atmos. The “4D” bit refers to subwoofers in the front seats (that can massage you, by the way) with bass intensity that can be adjusted on a scale of 1 to 10. If you dislike shaky vision, I’d steer clear of 10, but after five days on level 4, I have a sneaking suspicion every other car’s system will be a bit underwhelming. Oh, and the entire car is a shrine of silence, removing you further from the world around its ADAS-protected confines.

No doubt, some of you reading this are rolling your eyes, thinking Mercedes has lost the plot, and wondering why I’m not talking about the sweet mild-hybrid inline-six that returned 34 mpg on a highway journey despite pumping out 375 horsepower. Or the new rear-axle steering system that improves the big E’s agility around tight corners, or the height-adjustable, adaptive air suspension that does a bang-up job of providing classic Benz waft when you want it and modern Benz